![]() This is why narcissism and an addiction to grandiose lies tend to go hand in glove. There are two tandem reasons why:ġ) Beneath all narcissism lurks feelings of shame and the inability to process shame in healthy ways ().Ģ) Despite their differences, authentic pride, shame and guilt all activate similar neural reward center circuits, including the dorsomedial prefrontal cortex, amygdala and nucleus accumbens ( Change Your Brain, Change Your life, Daniel Amen, MD). For the narcissist however, it resembles more a triple-looping, e-ticket rollercoaster ride. ![]() The neurological road from pride to shame is a short one. So it makes complete sense, when Fred’s status is challenged the lies begin to roll off his tongue almost uncontrollably.īut like all addictions the high is temporary. It drives us to seek the recognition of others ( Start with Why, How great leaders inspire everyone to take action, Simon Sinek). The neurotransmitter serotonin provides the feeling of significance, pride and status. Yes, grandiose lying provides a high a serotonin high to be exact. The bigger the lie - the greater the emotional high. The bigger the lie the greater the imaginary divide between Fred’s superiority and his colleague’s achievement. Unfortunately this often took the form of lies. The only emotional relief he found was in diminishing, debasing or degrading his colleague. Should a colleague gain recognition, praise or success, Fred found himself filled with contempt, envy and rage. Yet, many grandiose lies told in the aftermath.įred, like most narcissists saw himself as an expert, at everything he had no equal. ![]() Once their usefulness had been extracted and exploited the relationship expired. Failure to comply was considered an attack on his superiority and the perpetrator considered a “difficult” person. For Fred relationships served one purpose: him. In general he had no problem establishing relationships but he had great difficulty sustaining and maintaining them. It’s not that he lacked intelligence, talent or wit - quite the contrary. Puffery would draw a few moths-to-flame but arrogance would not permit transparency or authenticity, without which his relationships and business suffered. The more others ignored his stories they more bodacious the lies would become.įred was a master of distortion, illusion and projection thrusting blame on others like muck on petunias. Unable to satisfy his deep longing for approval, he grew increasingly isolated and agitated. Initially, his lies were just exaggerations to make him seem bigger and more impressive, but as his tales grew taller, his friends grew fewer and his clients all scattered. Fred was a man short in stature and long on promises who found it impossible to stop lying.
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